It was the Spring of 2003. My husband walked in the door and found me sitting on the couch sobbing. I was crying too hard to answer his questions so just nodded my answers.
"Are you ok?" nodding yes.
"Is the baby ok?" nodding yes.
"Should I call someone?" nodding no.
I was pregnant and drowning under crushing waves of emotions. It seemed that just about anything could make me cry.
Songs on the radio? Yep.
Sappy commercials? Affirmative.
And it wasn't just when I was sad. I would cry when I was happy. I would cry when I was scared. I would cry when I was crying because I didn't want to cry.
As my OB-GYN had predicted, the crushing waves of emotion passed.
Now it's the Spring of 2020. I am safe and sound sheltered in place with my family which is a blessing. But I'm also stir-crazy and sad and my heart is breaking for all the suffering in the world right now.
The crushing waves of emotion are back and they haven't changed. They can be relentless and all-consuming. But I've changed. I'm working to welcome the waves (holy sh*t that's hard!) and allow myself to simply feel what I'm feeling. Unlike when I was pregnant all those years ago, I now know in my heart that the waves will pass.